Mum Lives On

On February 3rd 2006 just after coming home from a month long holiday in Australia my Mum was diagnosed with cancer, by 30th March she had died. Just two short months of time, on one hand it zoomed by, on the other it was like being in a slow motion car crash. Every day leading up to the inevitable.

So many amazing things happened at that time, and funnily enough I don’t think I’d change any of it. The day after Mum was diagnosed with cancer, my sister had her third baby. Talk about the circle of life in one weekend. There was of course the predictable shock at your mum, your sister, your daughter being diagnosed with cancer. I think for Mum’s own family it was particularly dramatic as their other sister had died of cancer at just 32. All those memories being revisited.

The funny thing about tragedy is that there is definitely a kind of celebratory aspect to it. Mum loved life, and everything about it, and to be honest in those first days she definitely loved the thought of cancer and the drama that was surrounding it. Having the family fly over, my brother home from Australia, all her friends to visit, there certainly was an aspect of seeing your own funeral. Just like a funeral, there were more laughs than tears when the whole family was together. The overwhelming feeling of love was palpable.

It was at this time that we all decided that Mum had ‘Kancer‘ rather than regular ‘cancer’. We referred to it as ‘Cancer with a K’. If Mum was going to have cancer she was going to do it in style!

After the initial shock began to subdue it was time to face into life with cancer. My sister had two children under four and a little baby to take care of. I was working full time, so my Mum’s sister came over and stayed with us for a while. This really was a life saver as she came in and was able to be a positive influence on Mum, and my sister and I.

Despite the best efforts of the doctors, Mum and all of us, cancer spread relentlessly through my Mum’s body. Six days after her 62nd birthday we watched Mum slip away into another world. It was the most awful and the most awesome experience of my life.  

My biggest fear after Mum died is that I would forget things about her. Not the big memories like what she was like in general, or her love or advice. But rather the little things, the failings, the things that make a person real and make a mother your Mum and friend rather than a saintly figure. Most people have a mum in a million, and I certainly did. I think my mum sent me and my brothers and sisters on a very interesting path in life. She created a really strong sense of family loyalty along with a confidence to stand up on our own.

Mum is my greatest inspiration. I hope that the ‘Mum Lives On’ blog brings a bit of what Mum brought to my life and to the lives of those who were lucky enough to be around her.

 MumLivesOn

All Photos used under CC Licence